


All the Things We're Taking ('Cause We're Young and We're Ashamed)

by TheMipstaz



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Music, Angst, Established Relationship, F/F, Future Fic, Homophobia, Musicians, Past Scott McCall/Kira Yukimura, famous au, radio interviews
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-20
Updated: 2017-06-20
Packaged: 2018-11-16 09:19:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11250177
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheMipstaz/pseuds/TheMipstaz
Summary: Hey, KIIS FM, I’m Kira Yukimura on LA’s #1 hit music station, and this is the world debut of my new single Lady Like Lightning. Hope you guys like it!





	All the Things We're Taking ('Cause We're Young and We're Ashamed)

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted [here](http://nevergooutofstiles.tumblr.com/post/160886589660/kydia-au-in-which-kira-is-an-up-and-coming).
> 
> Title from [Lorde's new album](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qm4_f8804nU).
> 
> I've currently knee-deep in 1D fics, so ofc I couldn't resist a famous musician AU. Or, specifically, Kira as a famous musician and Lydia as her social media managing girlfriend. I also have one more Scott/Stiles/Kira fic nearly done, so bear w/me while I beat this trope to death.

“So,” Ryan Seacrest grins, way too perky to be humanly possible for someone who’s probably been up since 5AM, “Kira, tell us a bit about yourself for those KIIS FM listeners who have been living under a rock and somehow don’t know who you are.” 

Kira forces a laugh because she knows it’s socially expected. It comes out sounding more like a weird wheezing cat, but in her defense, her mind is still working at about quarter capacity. She sips the coffee cradled protectively in her hands Gollum-style, gives herself a mental shake, and rubs one sleep-sticky eye. She’s not one for all the promotion that comes with a new album, feels too awkward and clumsy most of the time, but Kira knows she has to play the game or risk losing. 

“Well,” she fidgets with the cord of her earbuds and tries to remember to speak clearly into the mic, “my name is Kira Yukimura. I was born in New York City, but I moved a lot during my childhood for my parents’ jobs, which is how I ended up here in SoCal. I officially debuted my first hit single, _Kitsune_ , about 6 months ago, which is crazy considering I originally just posted that on YouTube after my amazing girlfriend encouraged me to.” Kira shoots a fond smile at Lydia sitting in the corner. 

Seacrest and Sisanie  _awww_  appropriately, and Kira knows Lydia is going to kill her later when the video portion of the radio interview airs online and everyone goes mad over the tiny snippet of Lydia. Kira insists that if Lydia weren’t so secretive, the fans would get over the novelty pretty quick. But she also knows Lydia truly values her privacy and doesn’t push it. 

“I absolutely love New York,” Sisanie interjects, just as inhumanly vivacious as Ryan. “Do you have a preference, east coast versus west coast?” 

“Ah,” Kira chuckles nervously. “I mean, I don’t want to play favorites. I love the big apple. It’s where my roots are. I started writing my first songs and I bought my first guitar there. But I gotta say California has been stealing my heart for the past decade.” 

“I totally understand,” Seacrest grins. “Unlimited sunshine and no snow, how can anyone resist?” 

“Not crazy about the traffic, but Los Angeles is magical,” Kira agrees wholeheartedly. “It really feels like the city of angels, a place of dreams. Like if I can somehow release two singles and an album, then anything can happen, you know?” 

“Oh, yes, tell us about those.” 

“Well,” Kira says, “I just released my second single, _Foxfire_ , a couple weeks ago. And then, today my entire album, _Half_ , came out.” 

“Which is exactly why we’re so glad you were able to be here. This morning is quite exciting for you,” Seacrest chimes in. 

“My pleasure, Ryan.” 

“We were hoping you could give us some insight  into your new album. Maybe starting with the title.” Seacrest looks down at his phone. “I was scrolling through Twitter, and the world ‘half’ seems to have your fans stumped. There’s a lot of theories and ideas floating around. Care to canonize one of them?” 

“At first, it was very literal,” Kira admits. “I’m half Korean and half Japanese. I have dual citizenship here in the United States and in Japan. Some people might call me only half American because both my parents immigrated here, so I’m the first generation in my family to be born on American soil. Basically, ‘half’ was supposed to represent an integral part of me as well as the struggle I’ve always felt with belonging somewhere. I’ve always been the girl who was too Asian to be American, but too American to be Asian. I want this album to be a sign of hope for other people who know that feeling. I want it to symbolize my journey towards the person I am today—not half of anything, but a whole person.” 

“Wow, that’s amazing,” Seacrest nods. “Definitely more than I would’ve ever guesses from one syllable. For anyone who’s just tuning in, this is 102.7 KIIS FM, LA’s #1 hit music station. We’re catching up with the one and only Kira Yukimura today in the KIIS studio. We’re talking about her new album, _Half_ , which just came out today.” 

Kira shrugs. “I just want everything about my music to be real and authentic. That means showing the world my insecurities sometimes.” 

“It must’ve been difficult growing up in an environment like that,” he continues. “Probably shaped you a lot as a person.” 

“For sure. Who I am today couldn’t exist without those struggles. That’s why I don’t want to hide them or pretend they never happened. Yeah, they sucked and I took a long time to find my identity. I’m still finding it even now. I mean, a lot of talk shows and radios and magazines like to ask me about my sexuality because of my girlfriend. And I honestly have no idea what to tell them.” 

“Oh, of course. That made headlines everywhere when you were first gaining momentum.” Seacrest leans forward on his elbows. “There was a lot of speculation because you wouldn’t give a clear answer.” 

“Because,” Kira flails a little with her hands to try to make sense of her words, “I literally didn’t have an answer to give, if that makes sense. I don’t know if I’m a lesbian, or a bisexual, or what. I don’t want to brand myself as something that important, as a role model or spokesperson for a group that I might not even belong to. It’s not fair to them. It’s not fair to me or Lydia. And it absolutely drives my PR team mad.” She cracks a weak grin. 

“I’m sure it does. PR is all about neat soundbites and clean, strategic answers.” 

“And I have none of those,” Kira shrugs helplessly. 

“Anyways, I hear you wrote a song about some risqué antics from the past. Trouble in paradise?” He casts an exaggerated look over at Lydia. 

Kira laughs at the scathing eyebrow Lydia elegantly arches. “No, nothing like that. I mean, I know _Lady Like Lightning_ can have that vibe. It’s kinda smoky, kinda sexy.” 

“‘Kinda’? Shall we read some of these lyrics out loud, Kira? Ahem, _Can’t remember my name with you between my legs. Baby, this feels ride or die. Even if it ends tomorrow, let’s never forget tonight_.” 

Sisanie wolf whistles playfully. 

“Oh no,” Kira groans, trying to hide her bright red face in her arms. “Sorry, mom and dad, if you guys are listening. Even though they’ve already heard the whole album and have missed their chance to disown me.” 

“This song is available all over the world. I think it’s a bit too late to be embarrassed,” jokes Seacrest. 

“I love it,” Sisanie assures Kira. “You’re right, it’s sexy and dark and addictive. Like a _50 Shades_ kind of vibe.” 

“Not exactly what I was going for—safe sex is the best sex, kids, be careful—but I’ll take it,” Kira chews her lip a little, thinking. “It’s basically about a lightning-fast love I had as a young girl. Too many feelings all at once just hurtling towards the end, probably for the worst. For both of us. But it’s not about some random fling. Lydia and I have been together since we were 16. We have a lot of history, and _Lady Like Lightning_ is actually about Lydia from way back when.” 

“Hence the L alliteration?” guesses Seacrest. 

“Something like that.” Kira bites back a smile. That’s just a coincidence, but people don’t need to know that. A little mystery never hurt anyone. People will probably think it’s romantic. 

Sisanie’s eyes widen. “Wow, since 16?” 

“Yeah, I mean it was on and off for a bit in our late teens when we were still working things out. But, if you count it all as one long stretch, we’re going to celebrate our 11th anniversary this year.” 

Sisanie’s tone goes dewy and wistful like people’s do when Kira lets on about this fact. “That’s incredible. I wish I had a great relationship like you guys.” 

Kira has to bite back an instinctive flare of annoyance. She knows people like Sisanie don’t mean it to come off as rude, but Kira hates when people say that about her and Lydia’s relationship. Like they just had a bit of good luck. Like they’re perfect soulmates with no problems or obstacles. It trivializes the years of work she and Lydia have put into it, the tears and heartbreak and awkward tension. The nights Kira almost walked away. Kira knows people don’t really wish they had a 10 year-old relationship; they just wish it was easy to have one without putting in the effort. 

“Well, let’s take a break and play _Lady Like Lightning_ , why don’t we? Care to lead us in, Kira?” Seacrest presses a button to record the soundbite. 

“I’d love to. Hey, KIIS FM, I’m Kira Yukimura on LA’s #1 hit music station, and this is the world debut of my new single _Lady Like Lightning_. Hope you guys like it!” 

* * *

“Vegas, how you doing tonight?” Kira croons into the mic. 

The answering roar the people stuffed into the venue tugs up the corner of her mouth like it always does. Kira will never tire of the blinding lights, the sweat beading on her brow, how invincible she feels on stage. If drugs are anything like this, Kira can see how people get caught like a fly in a web. Her blood sings in her veins. Everything feels dialed up to ten. She’s aware of every nerve end humming. 

“I hope you liked my opener,” Kira says, walking along the edge of the stage to get a feel for its dimensions, examine the eager people at the very front, squint at the shadowy back. “Scott and I go way back. We went to the same high school, played lacrosse together, even,” she looks around, shields her mouth from imaginary prying eyes, and stage whispers, “dated for a bit.” 

Based on the spike in volume, Kira guesses that’ll make the headlines tomorrow: KIRA YUKIMURA REVEALS PAST DATING HISTORY HALFWAY THROUGH U.S. TOUR. Exclusive pictures of Liam Payne’s new tattoo on page 10. Camila Cabello’s top ten go-to emojis on page 14. 

Kira grins. “So go check out his stuff. He’s brilliant. Stiles, take us away.” The snare begins tapping out a familiar rhythm. “I think you guys might know this one.” 

As the throngs of people pulse to the rhythm of _Kitsune_ , Kira can’t imagine wanting anything more in life. The words come easy, sparking off her tongue with the tension and excitement in the room. It sounds exquisite backed by hundreds of voices, the rhythmic stomping of feet, the acoustics going a little wonky compared to the sealed recording studio Kira started off in. 

The songs fly by. Kira pulls out all her embarrassing dance moves, headbangs with Stiles during his drum solo, basks in the sound of everyone singing along to her lyrics. Soon Kira is halfway through her set, blinking against the harsh lights and thanking her lucky stars that she chose to take off her leather jacket a song or two before. 

The place falls into a lull as the final guitar chords ring out. 

“You guys have been amazing tonight,” Kira says, just a little breathless. She pushes back her damp hair. “Thank you for making my first show in Vegas one to remember.” She smiles and waits for the cheers to die down. “But now we’re going to slow things down a bit. Malia, could you grab my guitar? Oh, thank you.” 

Her bass player returns with an acoustic, a wooden stool, and a manic grin. “You’re definitely sleeping on the couch after this,” she mutters in Kira’s ear as she passes it over. 

Kira winks. Then she slings the instrument over her shoulders, sits, and strums it experimentally. “I actually don’t have any acoustic versions of my originals,” Kira confesses into the mic. “But I think you guys might recognize this tune. I’ve been obsessed with it for the past week or so.” She fingers the strings lovingly, taps her foot, and takes a deep breath for a soft-around-the-edges rendition of _Sign of the Times_. She keeps her eyes either closed or downturned at the strings to make sure her fingers find their place. 

But at the end, she can’t resist glancing up. The swaying sea of phone lights and content faces almost takes her breath away.

“I love acoustic performances,” she admits once the song has ended. She smoothes a hand down the sleek wood. “I mean, I love everything I’ve done for you guys so far too, but there’s just something a bit more intimate about it. A bit more romantic. And how can I do something romantic without the love of my life?” 

The answering clamor is almost deafening despite the relatively small club they rented out. 

“Lydia? Love, will you come out please?” After a time with still no strawberry blonde hair appearing, Kira almost resorts to getting Malia to go hunt her down when Lydia finally stalks on stage. 

“You are so dead, Yukimura,” she fumes. 

 Kira smiles apologetically and takes Lydia’s hand. Lydia instantly links their fingers, and Kira knows she isn’t truly mad. Kira kisses the back of it, tunes out anything that isn’t the deep red of Lydia’s lipstick, the gloss of her hair, the grudging warmth in her eyes. 

Letting go, Kira hums the first notes. She doesn’t bother with the guitar, lets her voice reverberate through the air completely raw and vulnerable and bare. 

“ _Wise men say, only fools rush in_.” 

Lydia’s mouth quirks up despite itself when Kira sways closer and nudges their shoulders. Lydia’s arms loop around Kira’s neck, while Kira’s hands find Lydia’s hips.

“ _But I can’t help falling in love with you_.” 

* * *

"We’re trending,” Kira comments the next morning. It might be 11:52, but as long as the clock says AM, Kira still counts it as technically morning. She flicks through Twitter, skimming through all the tweets that include their portmanteau tag. “I told you people liked you.” 

“Shut up,” Lydia says in a sleepy voice lacking any heat. “You only gave me two orgasms this morning. That’s not enough to buy my forgiveness.” 

“Mmm,” Kira hums, dropping her phone on the hotel nightstand. “What number did you have in mind?” She rolls over to kiss Lydia, slow and deep. Their lips lazily slide together. It’s messier than Lydia generally likes, but they’re both so exhausted still that she lets it go. 

“How about,” Lydia pulls back with a mischievous glint in her eyes, “I tell you when you can stop.” She spreads her legs and pushes Kira’s head down. 

* * *

“It is 8:01 on 97.1 AMP radio, and today we have a very special person in for an exclusive interview,” Carson Daly says animatedly. “Angie is going to be so jealous when she realizes she got sick the day Kira Yukimura herself came in.” 

“She a big fan?”

“Who isn’t?” Carson grins. “Kira, you have the world on its feet. Your domestic tour sold out hours after the ticket sales went live. _Half_  sold half a million copies in its opening week and is projected to go platinum. At least 3 of your singles are topping the Billboard charts at all times. You’re truly an incredible phenomenon in the music world right now. I’ve been in this industry for a few years now, and I have never seen anything like you.” 

“Thank you, Carson,” Kira rubs the back of her neck bashfully. “Honestly, none of this would’ve been possible without my fans. They amaze me everyday. Some of them have followed me since I was just this dorky kid playing local shows in San Diego. They mean the world to me, every single one of them. Even if sometimes their signs make me forget the words to my own songs. I just love reading them so much that I almost miss my cue or try singing what I’m reading. It’s like trying to write something while talking to someone. It just doesn’t work out. But I know they took the time and effort to make those signs, so obviously I want to see as many as possible.” 

Carson laughs. “Any favorites you’d like to give a shoutout to?” 

“I can definitely appreciate any with Korean or Konglish on it. Or sometimes there are recommendations for local spots to eat. Those are always useful if I can remember them. Good food is the best way to end a good show.” 

“And I see we have your number one fan here with us today,” Carson comments, glancing at Lydia. 

“My dad flew out to see me?” jokes Kira. “No, I’m kidding. But yeah, Lydia is here. She’s been with me since day 1. Every interview, every talk show, every performance, she’s been there. My family is an awesome support network now, but they weren’t always like that. My mom wanted me to go back to school, and my dad suggested I sideline music as a hobby. But Lydia has been behind me and this dream from the very beginning when I was just messing around in GarageBand in my actual garage. It’s very possible that without her, none of this would’ve happened.” 

“And how did you two meet?”

“We went to high school together. Oh, it must’ve been our second or third year. Lydia? Third? Okay, it was our junior year, and I was the new girl like always because I moved a lot as a kid for my parents’ jobs. Lydia was the pretty, popular queen bee. Of course. Just look at her.” 

“This sounds like a romcom plot,” Carson teases. “I feel like I’ve seen at least 3 movies that sound like this.” 

“Yeah, kinda, when you put it like that. Well, we had classes together, got paired for some projects, and the rest is history. So I guess we should really thank our teachers for consistently pushing us together. I swear, we had like 3 or 4 assignments in a row. It was weird.” 

“Any chance we could get a sound bite from the girl who stole Kira Yukimura’s heart?” Booker pipes up hopefully. 

Kira winces. “Probably not, but Lydia?” 

Lydia narrows her eyes and purses her lips dangerously. No media platform has ever managed to get a single word from Lydia, and it looks like that isn’t going to change any time soon. 

“Maybe another time.” apologizes Kira. “Lydia is a lot of things: my muse, my cheerleader, my best friend. But she is not one for the press and the interviews and stuff.” 

“But she takes on a prominent behind the scenes role,” Sarah says. “I’ve heard people say she manages your social media accounts.” 

“Yeah, I’m absolutely horrible with Instagram and stuff. Lydia takes basically all my pictures, takes care of the captions and hashtags, then shows me before posting. I know some people have professional marketing teams, but I love sharing myself with my fans through Lydia’s point of view. I think it feels real. We’re just two girls dicking around with a camera and a guitar. My online persona should reflect that.” 

“That’s awesome,” Carson agrees. “That’s the kind of attitude that keeps people in this business for a long time.” 

“Thank you, Carson. That means a lot. I’m trying my best to stay grounded and not let everything get to my head or anything. Like most things,” Kira looks at Lydia without thinking, “Lydia helps with that. She would definitely let me know if I was becoming someone I didn’t want to be.” 

“Does that ever come up?” Carson looks between them. “The fame regarding your relationship? Has it ever been a point of contention? Or have things been pretty smooth sailing since _Kitsune_ blew up?” 

Kira blinks in surprise at the question, scrambling for words. “Uh, I mean, we’ve had rough patches for sure. The transition from who we were to who we are now wasn’t easy. I’m sure a lot of artists and celebrities can tell you that.” She twirls a lock of hair around a finger pensively. “When it became obvious that I was going to need to groom my image to cultivate a fanbase, I actually had to make a decision about me and Lydia.” 

On the side, Lydia’s mouth twists in displeasure. 

“Are you saying your agent had you choosing between Lydia and a music career?” 

“Er,” Kira runs a hand through her hair, “not exactly, but kinda? We had to pick what kind of person I was going to be to the public. Was I going to keep up a good girl routine or try to branch out to something more rebellious than before? Was I going to put any emphasis on my Asian-American heritage? Was I going to be, basically, straight or not? That sort of thing.” 

Lydia stands up. No one notices, so captivated by Kira’s confession. 

“So, let me get this straight,” Carson leans forward. “You almost hid your 10 year-old relationship in order to be successful?” 

The door slams shut as Lydia storms out. The ensuing silence rings louder than anything Kira has ever heard. 

Kira clenches her hands into fists. “I-I’m sorry. I have to go.” She fumbles to rip the headphones off her head. “I’ll try to make the live performance later, but…” Kira trails off as she hastens to the door. 

* * *

“Lydia, please! _Lydia_!” After chasing her girlfriend through the winding radio station hallways and knocking over half a dozen people, Kira finally catches up to her in the guest parking lot. She grabs Lydia’s arm. 

Lydia wrenches away violently. “Don’t touch me,” she hisses, eyes blazing. “I am not in the fucking mood, Yukimura.” 

Kira flinches back, but jogs to keep up with Lydia’s blistering pace. Every clip of Lydia’s heels seems to be the ticking of a bomb Kira doesn’t know if she can stop. 

“Lydia, please, was it something I said? I’m sorry. Just help me understand,” Kira pleads, honestly bewildered. 

“Was it something you—” Overcome by anger, Lydia whirls around and jabs a finger in Kira’s chest. “You can’t just go blurting all our secrets on a radio station with millions of listeners, Kira. Why don’t you just tell them our favorite sex position next? Or our phone numbers? There’s something called privacy. Look it up.” 

“Lydia,” Kira frowns, stumbling back, “I can’t just evade every question they throw at me about us.” 

“Why not?” Lydia demands irritably, crossing her arms. “It’s no one’s fucking business.”

“Don’t you get that this is bigger than you or me?” Kira huffs in frustration. She tugs desperately on her hair. “Yeah, sometimes they ask dumb stuff, but the point is _they’re asking_.”

“What do you mean?” Lydia narrows her eyes suspiciously. 

“They’re genuinely interested in a queer couple. We’re not just a fetish or for shock value to gain viewers.” Kira’s face softens. “Lydia, that’s amazing. We have to take advantage of this to give people like us proper media coverage. We have an opportunity to make a difference.” 

Lydia chews on her bottom lip. “I hadn’t thought about it like that before,” she concedes eventually. 

“I’m not crazy about being grilled either,” Kira says in a reassuring tone. “But it’s our responsibility to get out there and normalize queer relationships. Imagine how incredible it would’ve been to be a kid, to turn on the TV, and see a famous celebrity couple that you could relate to. That would’ve changed my life.” 

The last of Lydia’s anger crumbles away. “Me too.” 

Kira stays thoughtfully quiet for a bit. The two walk in heavy silence through the parking structure. Finally, when they’re at the car, Kira quietly says, “I’m sorry. I know you value your privacy from the public.” 

“Thank you,” Lydia replies in a subdued tone. 

“I didn’t know you didn’t want people to know about how my team tried to make you—tried to make us…” Kira makes a helpless gesture. 

Lydia sighs and leans against the car. “I know. I’m sorry because I never told you that explicitly. You couldn’t have known. But I didn’t realize myself how much I hated it until you said it aloud.” 

Kira tentatively sidles closer. “Can I ask why?” 

“It makes me mad,” Lydia leans into Kira’s side. “They asked us to go back into the closet for something as stupid as fame after we spent years agonizing over our identities. They just wanted to throw all that away. You deserve better than that. We both do.” 

Kira wraps a comforting arm around Lydia’s waist. “I know.” 

“And I just…” Lydia waits a couple heartbeats. Kira is almost afraid to breathe and break the tension. “I never want you to be ashamed of me.” She sniffs loudly. 

Kira hugs her close, squeezes her eyes shut. “I would never,” she whispers fiercely. “ _Never_. Lydia, you make the happiest woman on earth. You are the reason I smile and laugh and sing. I have never once regretted meeting you, kissing you, falling in love with you.” 

Lydia wipes at her nose. “Even though our first kiss was a disaster?” she chuckles wetly. 

“Even though I stepped on your toe. And then we both looked down and hit our heads. And then I tried to say ‘Are you okay?’ and ‘Sorry’ at the same time and yelled ‘Are you sorry?’ And I literally almost died of mortification.” Kira grins despite the instinctive cringe at the story because she can feel Lydia’s shoulders shaking in laughter against her chest. “Perfect first kisses are overrated anyway.” 

“I wouldn’t trade it for the world,” Lydia agrees. She reaches for Kira’s hand, twines their fingers together. 

Kira sighs in contentment. 

She knows the fight doesn’t end here. Tomorrow will be a complete mess trying to atone for running out of an interview. She’ll have to issue a formal apology. Maybe promise another live show to make up for the one she’s currently ditching for snuggling with her girlfriend in the parking lot. She might be unable to avoid a few nasty headlines speculating about her and Lydia breaking up or falling apart. She’ll face some serious flak from her people for revealing their unsavory ultimatum. 

But for now, in this musty cement parking structure, none of that matters. Kira has Lydia’s heartbeat against her own and feels Lydia’s hair tickling her cheek. What more could she want? 


End file.
